10 Ways To Make Summer Magical for Kids

When I think of summer, I recall it in events, feelings, sights, sounds and smells. I remember the magic of summer as a child, the feeling as though the day may never end, that anything is possible, that life just cannot get any better than that moment in time- swimming in the river for hours, floating- with my ears just under the cool water of the Severn, listening to the fish, and crabs tick ticking at each other, watching the clouds above me swirl in and out of different shapes as though performing, just for me. I remember the feeling of independence as I walked along the path at night, in the pitch black, giggling with my friends- bubble gum, sunburn, the smell of Solarcain, the sound of crickets, the fireflies, the feeling that I was on my own, going into new territory, on a long sweet night. I remember the beach and the endless hours building elaborate castles, with windows and trees, and motes. I remember trying to sleep with a simple sheet, sticky listening to the tree's leaves as though they were talking and soothing me to sleep. There were no cell phones, no email, no internet, no air conditioners, no DVD players and barely television. It was pure, simple, magic, with daring days on boats with storms rolling down the river, night-time swims, meetings on the fifth tee of the golf course, and long summer dances- barefoot, always. I feel like summer is when I learned about who I am, I tested my boundaries, and dared myself to push further than I knew, further than I thought I could.

I have spent a significant amount of time considering how I could possibly bring my children the magic experienced in my summers. Now that three out of four can swim, I feel as though my brain capacity has opened up a little to fill that former stress void that I had, being constantly afraid of drowning- one of my greatest fears. I feel that now, suddenly, making sure my children have a special, magical summer has become very relevant. I analyzed how it came to pass that I had these experiences...and this is my best solution, right now, today.

Here are ten ideas that I have come up with to help bring some of the magic to my childrens' summer:
1. Let Go of The Competition
Some people consider summer a chance to get their child "a step ahead of the competition". Relax. I can attest that my sense of adventure is more valuable than any extra lacrosse camp I ever would have received.
2. Stay Up Late
Night time is magical to children. It's a time they don't get to experience very much. Taking your children for a walk at night (some place safe), going for ice cream at night, taking them to a ball game at night, going to see the frogs in the river- these are all things that will give them a sense of excitement they do not normally experience.
3. Sleep In
Let the schedule go and relax.
4. Live Your Former 10 Year-Old Self
Remember when you were 10? What was exciting to you? Choose adventures and do them as a family. Going deep in the woods to find 'bones' may be the perfect adventure. Take out a canoe. Go paddle boating in Washington D.C. Go biking on the Eastern Shore. We go swimming in the evening. Tonight they went in their clothes. It's okay, it's a wet car, it'll dry.
5. Appreciate the Moment
There is no greater gift to a child than when his parents are able to give him love and be present with him in the moment. Train yourself to Live The Moment. We went boating recently, and I took it all in. My second son in his oversized life jacket, my baby boy with his dimpled fingers, my two little ones who still let me strip them bare naked in public out of wet bathing suits...the fact that they still want to curl up next to me like little kittens, and I know it will be over in flash, and they will just want the keys to my car.
6. Love, Love, And Love the Outdoors
Love your spouse, love your kids, love yourself. Take care of yourself at all times, and always bring healthy snacks, drinks, dry clothes, baby powder, sunblock, bug spray, lots and lots of towels, and always always exercise. Every day. Outside. Be outside as much as possible. I equate connecting to nature like to connecting to God, it's an immeasurable gift that will always give back, and your children can always access. When there is nothing left in the world (because the boyfriend is gone, the test score is low, the bank account is empty etc. etc.), there is and always will be, God and nature.
7. Give Them a Little Independence
As I walked along the path at night with my friends, I felt like I was flying solo across the Atlantic! I felt I had arrived! It was about a quarter of mile from my house to the 'clubhouse', and my grandmother's house was about half that distance. I had 5 siblings, about 15 or so cousins, and at least 4 uncles watching me at all times, I just didn't know it. So now, I let my 10 year old go with his cousins, for half hour increments. I let him walk home from the beach. I let him decide a few things that he hadn't in the past. I let him feel empowered.
8. Double Down the Downtime
Having 'nothing' to do is good for children in our overscheduled era. Let them come up with the 'something', even if its laying in the grass studying the clouds or digging for worms.
9. Bring On the Friends
Summertime was a very social time for me. Studies show that children who have a higher aptitude for socialization generally make more money, and consider themselves 'happier' in life as adults. Do what you can to integrate your children's friends into your life.
10. Share and Share Alike
Do you have a pool, a boat, a swing set, homemade lemonade? What do you have to share? What do you have that will bring joy to your children? I had an "Ice Cream Social" last week, just to kick off the summer. It couldnt' have been easier. We put out a bunch of toppings in disposable bowls, lots of ice cream and cones in my backyard and invited everyone over. We put on dance music, and the adults came with cocktails. The kids had an amazing time, and the adults had good time too. It was easy. Have punch and cookies with a blow-up pool. It's a party.

I recognize how incredibly fortunate I was a child to have what I had. But I think even without many of the privileges, the beauty of summer lies in these very simple things that anyone can do, living in any neighborhood, anywhere in the United States. Good luck and I wish each of you a magical summer with endless days and nights of happiness and wonder.

Colleen Shields is a writer, producer and host, and mother of 4 children. To read more blogs see her website at http://themomtastics.com or follow her on twitter @momtastic.

10 Habits of Highly Successful Mothers

"Success" is an ambiguous term to me. How does one measure success? How does one define it? Is success how much money we have in our bank account? Is it how much we have accomplished in our professional life? Perhaps success is the amount of education we earned? Or maybe success is how bright our future paths are...Being first and foremost a mother (in addition to the others duties of my life), the concept of success is one I measure (most of the time), by the happiness and achievements of my children and husband, rather than myself. Looking at success through this lens can be a slippery slope; what if, perhaps, one's child goes through a naughty phase- does this make the mother unsuccessful? I think not. But, when your primary energy, time and commitment are targeted toward the health and well-being of those around you, measuring yourself to their achievement is inevitable. I carefully study successful people. Women who are able to achieve motherly success (i.e. their children are super in school, sports, arts and wonderfully behaved), in addition to professional success and marital success are truly captivating to me. I wonder what they think when they meet me, "This woman is crazy...why does she keep asking me questions...." Well, I am trying to learn learn learn. I love to listen to the little gold nuggets that people do not even know they possess. Little do they know that I grab each little nugget and keep it to review later...(Is that creepy?)

These are the top 10 Little Gold Nuggets of Success which I have carefully extracted from women all over the country:

1. Efficiency is key.
There are only 24 hours in the day for all of us. So how is it that some people simply get more done than others? They don't waste time doing things that someone else can do. When it's appropriate and the budget allows for it, bring in the reinforcements to do your mundane tasks to give you more time. Successful women schedule carefully and say no to anything that doesn't work in the schedule.

2. Plan longterm
Successful women anticipate the needs of the children, their husbands, their jobs, and the school picnic. The most successful women I know have their calendars mapped out for the year.

3. Don't sweat the drama
There is one thing that women from all generations and all parts of the world share, and that is drama. Sensitivity to everything that is said, goes on, and transpires will ruin even the most focused woman. Do not get involved in nonsense. (I even go so far as to avoid news during the workday so I am not distracted by natural disaster.)

4. Keep the children on the forefront.
You can be wildly successful with your career, but if you come home to a crying child because you were the only mother who didn't come for the Mother's Day Music Show you have had it. Staying on top of your child's basic needs and even the most trivial event is important. Schedule time with your child if you must. Create a day a week that is for your children and only them. Carve out time every day to spend real one-on-one time with them. Being in the same room doesn't count!

5. Stay connected to your husband.
If your marriage fails, your children's life will fall apart. Period. End of story. I'm not suggesting that you can't piece it back together again but it will take time and healing. Prevent it by staying focused on being connected to your spouse.

6. Don't overspend, overeat, overdrink
Keep a check on health, on your spending, on your social life. Inventory it weekly. If life spirals out of control in one of these areas, your entire life will suffer.

7. Commit
When your child is on a basketball team and wants to stay home to play with his friends, tell him no and remind him of his commitment to his team. He can play with his friends when he gets home. Committing and staying committed is a key strength to anyone who is successful at anything. Success takes hard work, which can only be achieved through commitment.

8. Say No
People who say yes to everything create an impossible scenario for success. Do not volunteer to be the homeroom mom if you are working 60 hours a week; you will be unsuccessful at work, home and school. People who recognize when they are maxed out are always appreciated for their gracious "no I'm sorry I am overcommited" statement. It's a gift to everyone around you when you say no, and bow out.

9. Baby Steps
Every major achievement is preceded by a series of very small achievements. You cannot achieve success without working these small accomplishments first, and then moving on.

10. Adapt and Change
Nothing is certain but change in life. As soon as you figure out how to take care of the baby, she's a toddler. As soon as you get on the preschool routine, it's on to reading readiness. As soon as you feel like you are on cruise control in your job, you are promoted. Life is everchanging, and our ability to adapt to that change, and show our children how to adapt to change will dictate our true success. At the end of the day, I do believe that success is largely in the eye of the beholder. As life changes our view of success will change with it, and hopefully our glass will remain half full.

Colleen Shields is a writer, producer and host with four children. For more vlogs, blogs, videos and information, check out http://www.themomtastics.com

Developing Spirituality In Your Children

One of the core values of my life is to raise my children with the faith that I share with my husband and with which I was raised. Being Catholic is actually a fraction of the spiritual ratio. Having "faith" is the biggest piece of my spiritual life. Most people think of Catholicism as a lot of sit and stand, non-emotional, 'heavy-on-the-rules' type of religion. But for me, my faith is what has given me wings in many parts of my life and the courage to dare, to tread, and to nearly drown (but, alas survive). Without my faith, I do not believe that I would have had the wear-with-all to face great adversity, slim odds or major disappointments.

My point is this: no matter what, giving your children the foundation of religion with a heavy emphasis on faith is like a gift that gives in perpetuity. Children are the best receivers of faith: they believe the unseen. A child's level of thinking is on a higher realm in certain ways than adults, as they understand, embrace and believe theoretically beyond the here and now, the literal world. They do not share the skepticism that we have as adults. They are open, honest and forthcoming (sometimes to a fault, especially if you ask them if you look fat in your jeans). Children can also be clairvoyant too, in their sense of integrity and honesty; any hint of another's broken promise is taken very seriously. These concepts of faith, honesty and integrity are like a fertile field waiting to be seeded- the harvest of which will be a future of conscious thought and deliberate action, full of goodness and love.

I realize that I have had the benefit of a Mother uber committed to faith, and determined to instill habits that I now carry on to my children. For my readers who have not had the benefit of my Mother, here are some things that I do with my children to grow their faith, all of which I give full credit to my Mom...(I would also like to preview saying I am far from a good Catholic, but I try, all prayers for my eternal soul are welcome...)
1. Mommy and Daddy may not know but God does...
This is the concept that He is watching even if we are not.

2. Jesus is your friend, loves you, forgives you no matter what.
How many people do you know beat themselves up forever over something they have done...enough already...

3. You are very very special.
I talk about the Angels and the Saints, and how they all decided what kind of baby they were going to send Mommy from Heaven, and they picked out all the special qualities and I name each one...My Mother says "Every hair on your head is counted by God, he knows you from the tip of your head, to the tip of your toes.." I love that one too...

4. Pray pray pray and then pray some more.
We pray on the way on a trip, before a game, before dinner. I love to pray on the way to school, as we thank God for the beautiful day, or the rain for the trees who are so thirsty, and all our blessings and our family and our education, and for all the little children who can't go to school...(This one is great on Monday mornings.)

5. Go to Mass
A church, Synagogue, Mosque will work. But when you put an hour or so a week on the top of the priority list it tells your children that God is important, and so is your family, it's your time, and no one else’s. Protect it and covet it. Don't let anything or anyone encroach on your Sunday.

6. Be Generous.
To everyone, your family, your friends, strangers. Generosity comes in many forms in our lives, my favorite being kindness and forgiveness.

7. Watch Your Actions.
Not swearing etc. is a given, but I work very hard to "channel Jackie Kennedy" (which is a another blog) when things happen in front of my children. Someone flipped me off on the way to school the other morning- yes at 7:45 am, and actually told me to &*ck myself...I blessed her through grit teeth and kept my choice words to myself- that was a hard one.

8. Love Everyone.
My children, at one time, asked me how come some people are different religions, my answer of course "God loves everyone...." That is so easy. They don't ask anymore. Pray for your enemies, they need it, a lot.

9. Teach Forgiveness and Reconciliation.
How many people are you not talking to? How many people are you holding a grudge against? Your children will notate and file away for a later date when they can repeat this behavior...toward you. Forgive and forget. That doesn't mean expose yourself to unhealthy negative people (another blog). It means forgive them. The concept of reconciliation is such an incredible gift every child should have. If you can stand before another, confess, ask and accept forgiveness, you can achieve great things. Every child should be imparted carefully with this concept.

10. God Wants the Best For You.
The concept that God wants the best for you, Jesus is looking out for you etc., gives your child an optimistic attitude for the future. I am always reminded of the six year-old boy that hid in the latrine at Auschwitz and was discovered by American soldiers when the camp was liberated. Some would say he lived in feces, others would say he survived supreme odds of certain death. Optimism is a key component to giving and receiving abundance and success. Goodness is rewarded.


This turns out to be much more than I had wanted to share, but I tell you with my heart that I wish many people were raised with even some of these ideals, so I take this time to thank my Mother, her Mother and her Mother before her.

Colleen Shields is an author, producer, host and mother. To read more blogs and see her videos, log onto http://www.themomtastics.com.

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10 Ways to Unspoil Your Child

One of the great concerns of my life is that my children grow to be rigorous, ambitious, and resourceful adults. I find myself frequently concerned over this issue. My own sense of dogged determination came out of the survival skills I learned being the youngest of six children. I am acutely sensitive to my own family's interpretation of this, however, when you are one of many, any attitude or gesture short of "I MUST HAVE", means you will not receive. I learned quickly how to maneuver through group situations to get what I needed, when I needed it. 'The squeaky wheel' is only one of many tactics which I mastered early in life. I have no regrets about being from a large family; to the contrary, I loved it (and still do). I also believe that these early years were vital to my future, as my sense of "Oh Yes I Can", carried me to a full scholarship to college . I felt early in my life that if I wanted something, I had to get it myself.

Which brings me to my great concern for my children. My own sense of determination transcends to the welfare of my children. I am determined to make certain that each of their needs are met. Sometimes when people ask me what I "do", I answer "I get four children dressed, fed, to school on time , with papers signed, healthy lunches made, picked up to practice from practice, with homework done, dinner fed, bath, read to, with clean- proper clothing, prayers 3 times a day and always always teeth brushed." I do do do. I do so much I wonder if they will ever become hungry with determination. Will they ever push themselves, or will I always be the one pushing them? My mother didn't have to push me; I pushed her to drive me to agents, auditions, performances. She was (and is) always supportive, but her concern was protecting me from myself and those creepy people who lurk around the entertainment industry.

So the question becomes: how do you get your children to want, when they want for nothing? I am reminded of President Teddy Roosevelt's quote and one of my favorites:

"It is far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat."
Theodore Roosevelt, "The Strenuous Life"

Perhaps my children do not need to 'want' in order to become great people. Perhaps understanding that success (in any form) takes discipline and dedication. Perhaps their mother and father's commitment and love for them will give them confidence to push through the inevitable challenges of life. Perhaps they will honor their own privilege by dedicating their lives to those who have nothing. Perhaps...

I hope it works, and welcome any suggestions. In the meantime, I continually remind them of their unique American life- a home, a family, an education, a wii...these are things that many people do not have. The other thing they do not have is a mother who is dedicated, (Mom you are annoying me, don't kiss me in the parking lot), caring (Mom you are so mean making me wear a coat in the winter), and most of all, completely obsessed with their well being (I'm taking my bike two houses down why do I have to wear a helmet?) So they should be thankful, grateful, and humble. (As I should be too, for being SUCH a good mom to my little monsters, oh I mean my little darlings)....in the meantime I will pray for their future and hope their dogged determination includes keeping mommy happy with lots of appreciation.

Below are a few more ideas that I am considering...Note: Unspoil your children AT YOUR OWN RISK!

1. Make their own lunches.

2. Remove all but the canned food from the pantry.

3. Hide the can opener.

4. Do their own laundry.

5. Go camping, (in a tent).

6. Replace the house phones with the round dial kind/Hide the cell phones.

7. Tell them to organize their "ride home" from practice.

8. Hide most of their clothes, and give them some of your husbands hand-me-downs.

9. Remove all the batteries from the house, including all hand held remotes.

10. Disconnect the cable/internet.

For more blogs, vlogs, articles, and videos, go to http://www.TheMomtastics.com. Colleen is a writer, producer, host, and mommy living in Annapolis with her husband and four children.

The Miracle of Alex

It should be a given that I write on Mother's Day, right? Because after all, I have a blog on motherhood. But I just couldn't do it. It seemed not like there were no words at that time that could express how I felt about mothers, about my mother, about my grandmother, and about my own experience as a mother- my own appreciation for my children, for the opportunity, the gift and the incredible importance of mothers in our world. What I told my closest friends on Mother's day is this, "To all my fav moms, Happy Mother's Day, your love keeps the globe on its axis." It's monumental beyond words, and certainly beyond my words. On to Alex...

I promised you I would write about my little miracle Alex. On Cinco De Mayo, we began the latter part of the day with a great sense of celebration, and my very good husband whipped up some excellent strawberry drinks and margaritas. I ran out to the grocery store because at the time, the most pressing part of the evening was that the BBQ chicken salad needed black beans and corn (courtesy, again, of "Shields Management" as we call him..) As I was leaving the parking lot of the store, I had a feeling that I would arrive at home to the announcement that we must leave for the E.R. immediately. I shushed myself, thinking that because I am rarely away from my children, I am purely paranoid. When I arrived home, I found that our youngest son, Alex, who is 4 years old, had fallen on the crown of his head from about 8 feet high on a swing. "He's fine; he's got to be fine" I said to myself. But he wasn't fine; he was lying on the floor, white as a sheet, beginning to go to sleep. My world started to go black.

I could hardly speak. I couldn't breath, and I nearly lost consciousness. Here I am, the girl who only a week before insisted that her friend "snap out of it" when she had fear of a diabetes diagnosis with her son (the diagnosis was correct). Yet in my son's most dire moment of need, I was absent. They were busy trying to keep him awake, talking to him, begging him to stay awake until the ambulance arrived. I started to pace, trying desperately to stay conscious.

The EMT explained to me that Alex would be flown to John's Hopkins Medical Center, in Baltimore, which is about 30 miles from our home. I was still silent. She looked at me and said "Okay?" I said the words I will never ever forget, "I picked him up." "What?" she said, "I picked him up, I shouldn't have picked him up, but I saw him lying there and I picked him up." I had envisioned that he did suffer a spinal injury, and I did the one thing you are never supposed to do: I picked him up. When I did this he screamed "My neck ow ow my neck, Mommy my neck hurts." This was just after I had come in the door, and when we laid him back down, he started to pass out again.

The EMT said, "You need to get some clothes on now, okay?" I was still in a bathing suit and a cover-up from a beautiful day at the beach. I ran upstairs, and an incredible thing happened. It was like the part in "Wonder Woman", when she whips into another outfit and she is, well, wonder woman. I came downstairs and said "Alex, we are going on a great adventure." And thankfully, I was able to carry this upbeat attitude all the way till the moment they said, "Has anyone gone over the CT scans with you?" "No," I said, knowing that this could be the most pivotal moment of our lives, "They are negative, they show no signs of damage." My knees buckled and I collapsed in tears.

I'm always touting how these moments, these other moments, that are small and seem trivial give me peace and comfort. They speak to me like it's God himself telling me to calm down, to slow down, to be present, to appreciate these gifts that are constantly being presented to me. However, I never expected to experience this moment of such potential tragedy- and receive this gift of gratitude for the miracle of Alex. He embodies so much of what I wish to share; he's so full of happiness and joy. Today he dressed himself in jeans, his "cool" tee shirt, a plaid matching hat (sideways), and to top it off, he had neatly placed a little tiny bottle of antiseptic gel in the pocket of his shirt. (He detests germs, and insects). "Okay Mom, I am weady fora school now, wets go." I believe that every day I have with Alex is a gift, a miracle and his rambunctious spirit is my constant reminder.

In our house we celebrate big days for week; one day is never enough to say how much we appreciate a birthday, for example. I hope that all of you moms take this week, appreciate your family- your love- your gifts. In the end, it's not about how much they appreciate you, it's really how much you appreciate them- because they are the gift, and the love that boomerangs back lasts forever. Your children are your reward- and with out your love for them, the globe would surely stop spinning on its axis.

Colleen Shields is writer, producer and actress. Her blogs, vlogs, newsletter and videos can be found below.

http://www.themomtastics.com
@momtastic
http://www.youtube.com/colleenshields
http://www.hometownannapolis.com

"9/11 Catastrophe Avoided"..And Near Misses

Many of you know that our youngest son, (4 yrs old) was flown to John's Hopkins Medical Center for a potential spinal cord injury. Obviously this event is one of the most pressing moments of catharsis in my life, however, I feel the perspective is demanded from the events leading up to this...I will write tomorrow on Alex and his miracle.

It's amazing sometimes what Life demands, what it expects and what it reveals. Saturday started in a beautiful way, with our second son receiving his First Holy Communion. Holy it was. Full of excitement and little boys in blue blazers and girls in little white dresses and every one of them thinking about how to recite their prayers and fold their hands, when to kneel and when to stand and most of all to behave and remember they are in a very special, Holy moment. All eyes were on them, many of whom had flown in from afar, wide eyed at the innocence and sense of earnest good from these children: perfect for a moment in time. I tried to revel in this space, to breath in the energy, to digest the 1000 people standing together to be closer to God, to each other, beyond ourselves and our lives. It was truly a perfect moment.

But when it was over, it was over. We headed off immediately to New York City, to hear our oldest son play piano at Carnegie Hall with the American Protege Competition. Before we left however, we insisted that my parents join us, much to their consternation. It wasn't as though they didn't want to go; quite the opposite, they very much wanted to go. However, they didn't think that Mom particularly, was up to the trip. New York is for walkers- not my mother's strong point at the moment. But we talked about it, and finally it was decided that they would join us. Up the Jersey Turnpike we went. Up up up, rush rush rush. We refreshed and rushed some more, in and out of trains, fussing with tickets, leading our little pack of three generations, all in suits and ties and dresses, under and in, over and on busy trains with people of all shapes and sizes mostly surviving the tough city life.

The concert was truly incredible, especially at the moment that I realized these children (these other children) were world-class- who literally could have stepped into the shoes of any concert pianist. That's when the fear of God crept inside me and camped out. "What have I done to my son???", I thought to myself. He's good, yes, but world-class? Mind-blowing? A master of piano at the level of Elton John, but MUCH better??? NO! I thought I would hyper-ventilate, or run, grab my son, thank him for coming on the trip, and practicing 5 times a day and tell him we just had to leave, for, um, well- just because. Right now! Before it's too late!

Except there was only one small problem- we were in the front row! Also my red heals and 5 of us were not inconspicuous... So I sat, painfully, taking shallow breaths as each little prodigy crossed the stage and commanded the piano...

Slowly but surely, the skill level of the children came down from the stratosphere. Very slowly. They were now very good, and I was beginning to regain color in my face...

It was Christian's turn. I held my breath, nearly passed out, and prayed. He did wonderfully (what I can remember as I am completely blank on the first piece). He smiled bowed dutifully and then bowed again, and then again. When I asked him if he was nervous, he quickly responded "No," as he cocked his head side ways as if to imply "Why?"

After the concert, we all felt like we had run a 5K in 3 inch heals at night, and everyone was ready for bed, but I INSISTED we go to Time Square. My poor parents, eyes widened as if to say "You have nearly killed us, is that not enough?" And then they did the thing that we, as parents do, they said "Okay honey, if you really want to go," and I said "Absolutely, you will never forget it!" Boy, was I right.

When we arrived in Time Square, we headed toward the Marriott Marquis. But there was some commotion...lots of police cars arriving...people standing there, confused, watching, waiting. We thought nothing of it, and continued to map our plans. It finally occurred to us that perhaps there is a real problem- well yes there was, if you count an attempted bombing. We quickly exited the area, said a few Hail Mary's on the subway and dragged ourselves home.

The next day upon seeing the World Trade Center site, along with its Memorial museum, the near miss of our lives became all too real, too familiar, as the decidedly different outcome of our trip sank in. We felt like we were standing in a place looking at our souls, like it was so easily us, in that moment, gone from this world in one obliterated second. It was shocking and disturbing and deeply moving; we had evaded death by the hand of a miracle. We thought the most challenging part of our trip would be the pure act of getting from here to there, that perhaps walking from block to block would just take it all out of us. Little did we know that what we thought of as a moment of inconvenience would stare us in the face as if looking into a mirror of the past: "The Time Square Disaster That Wasn't." It was as though there were voices of what could have been, but sadly, of what was. The museum is largely family members' mementos of those killed. It's their "Lost" pictures, their personal photos of World Trade Center, their lives, their pain. On this quiet Sunday, and the 'hole' that exists like a quiet whisper of tragedy that stretched before us hissed what we missed, what we gained, and where we were going...a future of promise, of hope, of long walks in painful shoes, moments of bliss and, hopefully, the miracle of missing tragedy within a moment. I just wish there was a "9/11 Catastrophe Avoided" headline that I could always remember, that I clipped out, put aside in "special" folder and came across, like this day, one which I am so thankful to remember, and I will never forget.

For more blogs, vlogs, video tips and information, log on to http://www.themomtastics.com

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10 Steps to Getting Your Child to Carnegie Hall

Posted: April 27, 3:23 pm | (permalink) | (0 comments)

I am a doting mother, and I brag about my kids every chance I get. I didn't think I would be that mother, but low and behold...I am. I think it's better to just admit that you can't resist the opportunity to talk about your children than deny it. So let's all just admit it! Which brings me to the part I am really proud of...drum roll please...our oldest son Christian was chosen to play piano at Carnegie Hall! After an extensive audition process, he will be playing in the American Protege concert at Carnegie along with other children. He's only 10 years old! He is definitely not nearly as excited I am....

The journey to Carnegie inspired me to write about the topic of getting your children to practice _________ (fill in the blank). Whether it be piano, lacrosse, ballet or soccer, successfully getting them to practice can be a dreaded experience for all involved. Disciplines like music take daily practice. Along with school, homework, lacrosse, karate, dinner and sleep, daily practice is a challenge to keep a high priority. Some how, someway, we manage..Here are some of my tips from our family's experience:

1. Choose your long days -

These days should be the ones where there is nothing else going, and you can get them to do a longer practice on those days. On Sunday, and any other days off, I get them to practice twice, once in the morning (long practice), and once later, when Daddy gets home, "Because he's so excited to hear them and really wants to listen to them play."

2. Do the "Lick-a-dee split" on off days

On days when we have games, I make them do half a practice- just their performance pieces and their scales.

3. Pick a "Show Time"

They must practice by 5:30, that way they can play after school and then get it in before we eat dinner.

4. Practice In Ear Shot (Or eye shot for sports)

I have them practice usually while I am preparing dinner, so I am in earshot, and know if they are playing or playing.

5. Teacher Time is Sacrosanct

I do my best to keep my children from playing outside or having friends over before both children are finished their lesson. The playing distracts the student. Also, everything in the house shuts down when the teacher is doing the lesson (or at leas that's the goal!)

6. Pester

I don't let it go...Hopefuly I wont' be paying for it with years of therapy, but I really make their practice a priority, like teeth brushing, it must be done before they go to bed. Or mommy won't stop asking...(I even annoy myself).

7. Showcase

I ask them to play for family and friends on occasion. The clapping is great reinforcement to them. They hear other people say how wonderful it is to hear them play, not just mom and dad.

8. Stay Consistent

No matter what season, what sport, or what's going on, we get the practice in, as well as the lesson...

9. Praise Praise Praise

I always say how it makes my heart melt to hear them play. I let them know that I think they are brilliant...but read on....

10. Be an Honest Critic

I also let them know if it wasn't "their best song", or a "little pitchy", oh sorry, I was getting off track on American Idol...No seriously, I let them know in an instructional way if the song doesn't sound good...I don't think it's healthy for children to be constantly told how wonderful they are if they don't do their best. Then they end up like those auditioners on American Idol, with no concept of how dreadful they are...

So good luck, and remember the story when a tourist asked, "How do you get to Carnegie Hall?" and the New Yorker said "Practice baby, Practice."

For more videos, vlogs and more blogs, check out http://www.themomtastics.com

Rotten Eggs

Ah the wonders of Easter. The beautiful pastel colors, the anticipation that spring might actually be coming- finally! I love Easter. I love the hopefulness of the day, the warm weather, the birds finally coming out, the longer days. To me, Easter is the start of spring- and all things new, clean, bright and sunny. I was very excited for this Easter, and I prepared in a big way. The Easter outfits were purchased weeks in advance for the children. My husband had picked out his matching suit, new shoes were purchased, and I carefully choose three different dresses- all pretty and bright and weather dependent. It took over a week to prepare the house. I cleaned the windows and decluttered every closet- all in the name of Easter! I got out all my best pastel linens and put out the porcelain bunnys (thanks to my mother-in-law). I even watched Martha Steward while I strategized the perfect menu. We died the eggs and prepared the ham and an enormous amount of food with champagne, Bloody Mary's, and George's new concotion- The Yellow Devil. The day finally arrived and we raced around to get everything set out and raced to mass.

Finally, it was time to sit and relax and enjoy the beautiful day and see my children run through the yard with their cousins for the Easter egg hunt (one of my favorite events to watch), with pink ribbons flying through the air and little blue blazers racing through across the lawn. It was time to stop, for a moment. But I didn't...

Whilst I write this I am very aware that I may scare my guests from ever returning. However, I believe my plight is just one of motherhood, and not due to my lovely guests.

The children pulled their ties, and blazers and Italian made shoes off practically before they made it out of the car. My beautiful little girl in her very puffy dress dissappeared and returned with favorite sparkly t-shirts and shorts. I ran around picking up the future dry cleaning and seemed to be constantly collecting shoes. The children happily enjoyed their Easter baskets- all over the house. There were jelly beans smooshed into every carpet, followed by chocolate fingerprints, happily grabbing every door knob, light switch and wall manageable. The weather held and everyone loooovvved George's concoction, "The Yellow Devil". Infused with fruit, vodka, triple sec, wine, orange rum, Grand Marnier, orange juice, it had quite a kick- which you only realized after you drank it like a glass of lemonade. It is truly a devilish drink- great for a party, but the only problem with it, is it's a bit labor intensive. We spent much of the day refilling The Yellow Devil drinks, and making more, and finding ice, and clearing plates, and making more, and greeting guests, and cleaning up chocolate bunnies.

All in all, it was a beautiful day. I hated my shoes afterwards, but I still love Easter. It was a 12 hour extravaganza and my only shortfall was not having a 2nd meal in mind and prepared to go. We made do, of course. Oh yes, one more thing...the eggs- I love dying eggs, but I am afraid, this could be my last Easter doing so...As I am sure many Moms out there have experienced the following: the smell of something....odd...something off...something not quite right...something getting worse...ewwww something really bad....Oh my dear Jesus what the hell is that?!....George we need to do something that smell is so bad!......to finally finding the darn little thing hidden deep behind the television in a cabinet of a guest room (last year)....to deep within the recesses of the boys' bunk-beds (yuck!).

So in the end, isn't it about expectations? I will not sit, not at my own party, not on Easter, not for about...14 years....but hey it could be worse- and I get to drink The Yellow Devil.

Teen Suicide

The utter despair that the parents of Phoebe Prince must feel, makes me weak in the knees. Phoebe was a 15 year-old teen girl who was so viciously harassed by a group of her high school classmates at South Hadley High School in Northampton, Massachusetts that she hanged herself on January 14. The harassment had been going on since September, and took place at school and online. The faculty and many students at the school were witnesses and aware that Phoebe was being bullied. Unfortunately, there was nothing effectively done to stop it.

Phoebe left a legacy which I hope will not go unnoticed, but rather, expose the danger which our children are in, and highlight our responsibility of parenting in the most visceral, important way. What have the parents of these children, been busy doing? Teaching them? Taking every opportunity to make them understand that we, as human beings, are compelled to not only be caring, and compassionate to one another, but that we are actually responsible for one another? I wonder how much time these parents spent actually exhibiting the behavior they wished for their children, like helping those less fortunate, possibly the people who may seem a bit weaker, a bit helpless. I wonder if they did things to cultivate a spirit of generosity like stopping on the side of the road to unload the car of blankets for the homeless people sleeping in the streets...or bringing unwed teen mothers home after they had been put out by their families? I wonder if they stopped at the grocery store and found a family with little blond, malnourished children with no home and no food and brought them home to live with them? I wonder how many prayers they said for people in dire straights, bringing attention to the problems that exist in the everyday lives of family members and friends? I wonder if they brought anyone home, on the brink of suicide and made her a part of their family? I wonder if they had nightly family dinners, endless discussions of social welfare and reform, or if they had family expectation of civil service? I wonder if they attended mass every Sunday, to listen, learn and experience the discipline of giving God an hour of devoted time per week? I wonder these things because the idea that I or any member of my family would ever, ever watch someone being bullied and literally stand by is unimaginable to me. My parents did each and everyone one of these acts of kindness, and countless more. They taught us, consistently and constantly about serving others. They didn't just show up for appearances, ever. They sacrificed themselves, their time, their money, their home and much more. They gave of themselves, they showed compassion, and they taught us to do the same.

The legacy of Phoebe goes directly to the heart of what is needed, what is required as a parent; your children are in danger. Just to give your check to a charity every year, go to church once a month, and even volunteer at a soup kitchen once a year are not enough. Not now. Now in the age of competition for your kid's attention from a pop society that misses the point of the movie "Mean Girls". Getting your children to understand that we are ultimately responsible for everyone around us will be our country's greatest achievement or our greatest failure. It takes every day, every hour of reminding, teaching and showing your children how we should treat others when we are with them, and how we consider them when we are away from them. Parenting takes commitment that I believe, when done right, rivals Olympic athletes.

The parents of the nine teens who are now facing serious criminal charges will have significant time to ponder their own responsibility in Phoebe's death. I hope that Phoebe's legacy will conjure serious change, and compel parents to connect with their children, and give them Olympian-like teaching of humanity, love and compassion for others.

For more blogs, videos on parenting and vlogs, go to http://www.themomtastics.com

It's All Yahoo's Fault

Do you ever sit at your computer, ready to accomplish a very specific task, one that you haven't been able to tend to for weeks, that has been sitting there, on your mind, pestering you, when you see on the home page whether it be msn or yahoo- the day's news events? You can't help but read "The Ten Most Common Signs That You Are Being Lied To," or maybe even "Candie Spelling's House Tour- Come On In!" There are just certain things I cannot resist. Once I give into the temptation of, let's say for example, seeing the Spelling fortress, I then decide to read up on Tory and Dean. I wonder about the relationship with the Mom, did they make-up from their epic fight? Maybe there is an article on that...What about the boobs, did she get them fixed? They used to be lopsided (as was pointed out to me by a grumpy grip on the set of 90210 back in the heyday). What about Jennifer Garner, where is she? etc. etc. etc. The mind gets...DISTRACTED. Isn't it true? I find one of my greatest challenges in life is to stay on track, of one thing, and accomplish it, despite the mountains of distractions that surround me.

This week as I was contemplating my next blog post I considered this challenge, (I am officially a master procrastinator). All the challenges that surround me in terms of career and the many paths that face me; the finances and choices that must be made; the children's education and which direction to take the; the health and well being of my husband, my children, and my parents; the scheduling and maintenance of my children and their sports, arts, parties- all these things, all of these decisions, all of these tasks on this massive to do list began to crowd me and I felt like I could just suffocate. I felt like I couldn't breath and it just might overtake me. As I tried to take one task at a time, I couldn't even listen to the anxiety of those around me. I grew short with anything not on point. And then one day in what seemed like an endless week, it occurred to me that I had gotten off the path. That my objective was simple: Happy life, happy family. I began to consider what, out of all these decisions, big and small, was really truly apart of that equation. I had to rid myself of the detailed minutia, back-burner anything that wasn't truly a part of that equation, and move on. Usually the biggest problems, challenges and hurdles and life boil down to a simple question, with a simple answer. Staying focused on what is important, staying on the path despite the challenges, hunkering down together- these are the important things to remember.

As I contemplated my epiphany, I conjured a road, with many paths. It reminded me of when George and I had our first trip across the country, with everything we owned in the backseat of a purple Chrysler New Yorker that cost $500. The determination and sheer willpower we used to overcome the adversity that we faced, combined with our firm belief that we were in it together, with no one else, is what drove us to our destination. Despite 4 breakdowns, with flames, literally no money, several near death experiences, and apocalyptic weather- we made it. We were focused, together and nothing could stand in our way- especially not fear. This is something that I will always hold on to, and remember at that moment, just before I feel like I might suffocate, that he and I are in this together. One day, I will share the story, it's well worth the read.

To read more of Colleen's blog, or see her videos, check out http://TheMomtastics.com

Are You Happficient?

I was making my wish list recently and it became very apparent to me that life really does get in the way of living. After a particularly bad bout of testy days of endless things to do, clean up and tend to, I decided that I needed to take stock of my time, and determine exactly how I could streamline it, and adjust it to provide me maximum ‘happficiency’…(happiness and efficiency). If I could really pinpoint how I want to live my life, and how I am actually living, then I could determine the exact nature of my void in the happficiency ratio and fix it. Well, like most people I realized that much of my time is spent doing laundry, dishes, sweeping the floor (about 6 times per day), paying bills, sitting on hold, ferrying children to and from schools and practice, making beds, tidying rooms, and answering the doorbell (my children’s lovely and very active friends). All of these menial tasks are taking away from playing with the children, reading to them, holding them, hugging them and spending quality time with them. If life weren’t so darn demanding I would enjoy the entire point that I had children in the first place- to enjoy them and enjoy our life with them! How does one actually fix this problem? A solution: employ a staff of a fulltime housekeeper, personal assistant, and driver.
Tada! Problem solved! I begin to imagine how my day would look with such assistance. I focus on creating an image in my brain, and visualize the outcome. My day would open up like the sky after a dark summer storm. I imagine watching my helpers scurrying about the house, carrying laundry up and down the stairs. I sit and eat lunch while they sweep the floor and do the dishes. I take a nap while my children are driven home by a competent Eastern European driver. I am blissfully relaxed and sit to speak to the children about their day, vaguely miffed when they race out the door to see their friends. I watch as my team of helpers folds the laundry. I wonder what’s for dinner, and then it dawns on me just how…inefficient I feel. It occurs to me how my multitasking ways of motherhood are one of the things that give me strength…wings- big ones with Eagle-like wingspans. I’m like a giant multi-tasking Eagle, and I am perfectly capable of folding laundry, doing homework, making dinner, answering the door, and texting at the same time! Could it be…could it possibly be that such tasks are what make me happficient? Could it be that my entire concept of happficiency is a result of my extensive, and I dare to say, nearly expert use of efficiency in the face of a noisy life of challenges? Is it true? Would I truly be happy living a life of….leisure???!!! Two days per week. Wait, no- one. One day per week. If I could get one day per week of pure unabated leisure- I would be…happy. Come to think of it, that would be Sundays. Yes Sundays, when my husband is home and spends his day being very efficient in every way and always abundantly happy.

For more blogs, articles and videos, visit Colleen at http://TheMomtastics.com

10 Ways to Let Go

This is a week that I was reminded of the heights of stress that motherhood can reach, as I crested the Himalayans. With hysteria in my eyes I deterred strangers from my path, but not my children. It was the kind of week that made you just wants to lock yourself in the bathroom with a pillow and wake up tomorrow or maybe the next day. Four out of six of us were sick, requiring constant dosing of medicines, taking temperatures, running to the pharmacy and doctors offices. On top of that, our new insurance prevented me from going to the drive through pharmacy....Who knew that taking four children in and out of the Giant would be such an ordeal? It's difficult to describe the level of stress, frustration and upset that transpired from such a task. Mind you, the children had the nerve to act like children. Of course I'm pretty sure that the other shoppers didn't see them as children, rather as very loud little minions darting through the aisles, with a very exasperated mother following behind.
In one of the few quiet moments of the week during yoga, I was reminded to "let go". I tensed thinking about all the details, stressors and things that I must worry about. "Let go. Enjoy this moment of quiet and peace." When I really took the words in- to just let go, I realized at that moment how much I was actually keeping in. I realized how much I had taken on as my own, how much I was worrying about it, and how really I did indeed just need to let go. I kept this thought with me for the rest of the week, and kept repeating it to myself to "let go". Like a little gift, neatly wrapped in sparkling gold paper and a big bow, I pass on to you a few moments of letting go that we all need at some time or another, and apparently I need quite a lot.

1. When you are alone, be alone. Stop worrying thinking and driving yourself crazy analyzing how to solve your problems.

2. Look up when you are down. I got 8 lbs. of free shrimp from Giant- a promotion deal from their pharmacy...(my husband reminds me it wasn't exactly free). There are deals all around you, but if you are too stressed and upset or maniacal you will miss them.

3. Do what you can, and then be done. When you are preparing for a big event, at some point, be done. Meaning when it's that moment when you know that you have done most of what can be done, just have trust and faith that it will work out, and give it as a gift to the those around you.

4. Stop worrying about everyone else. They will live. No amount of worrying for them will solve their problems.

5. Stop trying so hard with some people. Sometimes there is that old friend that you keep trying to connect to who doesn't seem to reciprocate, or that person at work who vaguely ignores you when you are nice to them. Let those people go, and stop trying.

6. Leave the mess. It will be there for you when you come home.

7. Get off the cross, we need the wood. This is not my quote, however, I do believe it. If you are so busy feeling sorry for yourself, you are robbing others of what they need from you, and robbing yourself too.

8. Stop comparing yourself to others. Sometimes it’s not the dirty car that bothers us, with cheerios and dried cheese sticks to the carpet, it’s that we know that others will notice and judge. Who cares?

9. You are on the same team. When couples are enduring stress, they fight each other. Remind yourself one of you is the quarterback and the other is the running back and darn it you will win together.

10. Trust your swing. A golf aficionado asked me recently "Do you try to hit the ball?", I said "Well, yeah...??" She said, "That's the trick to golf, you can't try. You must have the fluidity down and trust you will hit the ball."

If you trust yourself, and let all ancillary stress go, you will be happier. I guarantee it.

Mortality at the Back Door

As I was happily reading "More" magazine last evening, home on a Saturday night after our children's behavior had dashed our family dinner plans out, when I began to experience an acute feeling of anxiety. At first, I couldn't put my finger on exactly why, so I began to analyze the situation. Yes, I was highly annoyed that we had no babysitter, that the high pitched playing/fighting was elevating, that I had been working for hours on end and wanted a break. But that wasn't what was bothering me. As I flipped through the mag, I realized that it was the Cadillac ad, the wrinkle cream, the graying Clairol treatment, the Alzheimer's treatment, the panty liners for bladder leakage that was triggering my response- and these were only subliminal. The articles on hearing loss, Fired at 50, and a bit on Debbie Harry really got me thinking that either this magazine is far below my demographic, or I am really really getting old. "Why do I even have this magazine?" I thought to myself... Well, I borrowed it from my gym. (I did ask...) I like the articles, the topics are intelligent and deep. I like who they interview and find the subject's experience(and age)gives her a perspective from which I would like to glean insight. So maybe I'm in the demographic. I mean possibly...

At this point of realization, one word began to repeat itself over and over in my mind, "necrosis". And then it really hit me as I started to do deep breathing exercises. Mortality was fast approaching! It's practically knocking on my backdoor! It's coming like an Acela train down the tracks right toward me and I am powerless to stop it! I have so much to do, to accomplish! And what am I doing? I need to get to work immediately! I haven't even come close to accomplishing my personal mission statement and I am wasting time! (pant, pant...)

I sat down on the couch and tried silently to compose myself so as not to alarm my children that their mother may die at any moment. They were happily playing Wii, and maneuvering in and out of towers and near death experiences...When suddenly three out of four of them crawled up onto my lap like little kittens. Their warm little bodies covered me like a blanket, and it all melted away, and I thought to myself, "Why am I wasting my time thinking about what could be when I have what is..." I wish I could bottle this moment, keep it with me all the time, and lock the back door, forever.

Colleen Shields is a writer, producer and mom. You can read her blogs and see her videos at http://themomtastics.com

10 Ways to Save Your Marriage

Sometimes as you are standing at the sink in the kitchen doing the dishes again, you just can't help but notice how nice your neighbor's patio is. You peek out back, to the space where your own patio could be, one day, with that outdoor couch set and the huge umbrella and lots of tropical trees strategically placed. But alas, you see grass, well sort of grass, maybe more mud than grass. And then it begins- you begin to notice the nicks in the walls from little matchbox cars, maybe a crayon or two going down the hallway, the dirty laundry pile which appears to be growing before your eyes...and you start to wonder, "Really, this is it?"

You see it didn't start out this way. You bought the house after an exhaustive search. You were excited and energized. You picked out paint colors together. You searched and found furniture for 'the perfect' spot. You happily hung pictures of new collages and arranged the pantry and bought the linens. You were busy creating a home. Eventually however, the paints are long put away, and the walls start to show their wear.

It seems to me, marriage is a lot like this house we make a home. We begin with excitement and a great spirit of hope for our future. We work feverishly to begin a life together. Eventually things settle in, and life happens. It seems to me this is when a perfectly good marriage begins to show its wear. I now long for the twenties, when I went to a lot of weddings, or the early thirties when I went to a lot of Christenings. The late thirties seem to involve a lot of divorce. So here is a bit of my perspective, which I wish that some of these same people would consider before they spend the rest of their life fighting over their children:

1. Get Over Yourself!: "I have a right to be happy"....No, You don't. Happiness is earned, and it has a lot to do with how hard you are willing to work for it.
2. Take Time: Do you go to the gym? Do you play an intramural sport? Do you go to classes to further your career? These are things you are doing to work on something. It's a concerted effort. Try giving your marriage a concerted effort. Guys- remember when you courted your wife? You worked on it. Now you need to work on it again.
3. Be Interested: When was the last time you showed interest in what your spouse does in their work life, spare time or home life?
4. Learn Something New Together: Discovering new territories of your relationship require you to change your perspective. Take a class together- online bible study, online cooking class, couples dancing class, online massage??? Figure it out.
5. Remember Why You Got Married: Stop fighting and remember back to why you got together in the first place. Look at old pictures and old journals. There was a reason you fell in love, find it.
6. Do Special Things for Each Other: Do one of the chores from your spouses list. Laundry is my domain, and I came home last night to about 6 loads folded and put away. It showed me that my husband truly loves me/has pity for me when I really need it.
7. Make Your Marriage a Priority: Sundays are my husbands only day off work, so I protect it like a Momma Bear. It's sacrosanct. I make no plans or commitments for the family. It's strictly our day as a family together. Treat your marriage like that.
8. Schedule Alone Time: Go away alone together once a year. If you can't afford it, have family or friends take your children for the night, and make your home a little escape for the night with lots of candles and great takeout- but no chores allowed.
9. Have Lots of Sex: Dr. Oz thinks our country is in a sex crisis cause we aren't having enough of it. Girls remember, sometimes sex is like running- you don't want to do it, you don't want to do it, then you do it, and you are like "Wow, why don't I do that more often?" Get creative, and do it, a lot of it.
10. Be Friends: Remember when you first started dating and were first married? Your spouse should be your best friend. He should be the first person you want to call when you have good news. If he's not, then you have a warning sign that attention is required!

Please for the love of God and all things sacred, work on your marriage people! I can't stand heartbreak and heartache...!

Fallen and You Can't Get Up?

I believe that everyone, especially mothers, and even most especially "stay-at-home" mothers should have an outlet- something that she looks forward to that she can call her own. The outlet should stroke the alter ego a bit; it should remind her of all that she is capable of, beyond a very tidy and punctual carpool schedule. The little escape from all that is mothering should give her a little abandon; a feeling of "yes I can!". This activity should have preferably nothing to do with her children, her husband, or anyone under her care. She should feel like "Yes, at this moment, my needs are on the top of the list!"

Of course, I have the very biased opinion that mothers are most deserving of such an activity, as they give, give and give some more to others all day long, with little thanks, no pay and certainly no accolades, promotions or three-day two-night excursions for doing the most dishes in a single month. The activity of choice for me is the gym.

When I share with people how often I workout, (which is about 3-5 days per week), they often respond "Oh not me, no way, I don't want to walk a mile much less run on a treadmill for an hour." But what they don't know is this is my secret alter ego. As a former ballet dancer, my hour of glee every Monday morning is step aerobics with uber instructer Debbie Martinez at Premiere Fitness. Doing step is like another world for me. I can go back to my old glory days, albeit just for a moment, and recreate and incorporate as many piroettes as possible into the routine. I think at first it may have been confusing to people, "Why is this girl trying to turn this step class into a ballet routine...??" But now, I think my co-steppers are used to it, and may even understand the heights of happiness I reach when I think, I can still do this...

But sometimes the reality of life and all that we can escape from comes back in a flash, smacking us back to the present. Sometimes even step cannot save us from ourselves and the reality that the ballet career is long past, and will never ever return. And that day did come for me, when in the middle of a cross-over back turn-kick my footed slipped from under me and I landed on my back, splade out in middle of the floor. Yes, the reality of the present was there, for all to witness.

However, stepping on Monday mornings, is a bit like life. Sometimes, just when you are going, in your groove with all the hope and possibilities of the future ahead of you, you trip, and life comes crashing down upon you. It seems lately I have witnessed this quite frequently and many times, I have seen people languish on the floor, wincing and flustered from their momentary failure. And still others seem to get up, right away, as though it never happened. Of course, for me, the next part of the routine was coming up, so a quick recovery was required. I believe it probably will not be the last time I fall, but I will always always get up without a thought because step, like life, is too gleeful to miss.


You can read more of Colleen's blogs and see her videos at TheMomtastics.com.

No Sleep Tonight

Many people contend that mini-van drivers are the worst on the road. I believe this is directly attributable to sleep-deprivation. Like millions of mothers around the world, I woke up this morning, just like yesterday morning: feeling like I didn't actually go to bed, I just took a series of short naps. The larger the family, the greater the odds that someone is cold, scared, has wet the bed, coughing, throwing up, and everyone's favorite- hungry. I have lots of tips on how to get them to stay in bed, but all bets are off when one of the latter comes to pass at night. It seems most nights recently, entail one of these states of panic, turmoil, and bleary eyed pep at three a.m., while changing the bed, the child, finding the medicine, measuring it out, and getting thrown up on. In an effort not to grow to the point of unmitigated resentment, I had a little mantra that I used to get through the most recent night, and it actually worked, and kept me equipped with an overwhelming sense of appreciation for my little darlings all day, even while I slept at the red light. So here it is, "It won't be long before they never want to be in my bed...."

Soon I will sleep soundly through the night, without interruption. There will be no child longing to just be next to me. There will be no cry for my help and comfort. There will be no fat cheek to kiss and little tears to wipe away. The house will be perfect. There will be no little handprints on the walls, no eternal crumbs around the house. There will be no little toys left in strange places like pockets, and shoes and bathroom cabinets. The tubs will be spotless with no toys to clean up. There will be perfect grass in the yard, all alive and green with no little footprints back and forth to the swing set. The yard will be quiet with no screaming and yelling and running back and forth. Meals will be quiet with no interruptions. Car rides will be quiet and peaceful with no bickering and fighting singing and laughing. Weekends will be free with no little person demanding breakfast at 5 am. There will be no crafts and crayons and glue about the house. The birthday parties will not require the colorful wrapping paper and trips to pickup toys. The nights will be quiet and I will sleep. I will sleep without interruption, and the aching sense that I wish I had stopped to appreciate the little hand in mine asking for my help, my warmth and my comfort. That really in the end, sleep will be had, one day, just not today. Today I will revel in all that will eventually end; I will love tonight.

The Miracle of Thy Neighbor

The natural undisaster of a snow storm and the kindness of neighbors is inspiration without misery...

I believe Snowmageddon was an experience we will all remember and share for a lifetime. The testament to the human spirit was seen so often, it is difficult to choose just one to highlight. There was the scene of neighbors in every driveway down the road, one by one, like a well choreographed dance in between five foot drifts of pure white snow, shoveling while chatting, laughing and sharing. There was the potlucks and get togethers with children running all around, with lots of chatter and drinks. There was neighbors shoveling and snow plowing other neighbors, digging out each other's cars, and the brave one bringing groceries back and forth. There was the herd of midshipmen valiantly volunteering through the city, bringing food to the elderly. There were strangers talking and sharing, pushing cars out of the snow, inspired to stop, help, give. There was a palpable sense that we were in this together, this shared experience, this moment in time which we felt may last forever. Snowmageddon of twenty-ten, it was an unforgettable experience. Although challenging, it was as close to you could get to a natural disaster, except without the disaster. We were stuck. But we were stuck together. I realize for some this blizzard brought misery in the form of no heat and electricity, lost income and hypothermia. But for majority of us, I believe it was an excellent exercise in "Shut up and Stop". We all had to stop our uber busy lives, and co-exist. I am proud to say I saw the best in my neighbors, and I am abundantly proud to say that we did pretty darn well making the best of Snowmegeddon, together in soft fluffy white harmony.

My Love-Hate Relationship With Snow

All the mothers reading this will know just what I'm talking about, but for the benefit of those who do not have little darlings of their own, I will explain. Imagine if people came to your house, during a snow storm up to 30 times in a day? Now imagine they came in, with wind howling, snow coming sideways, with wet boots and coats, squealing in delight, and they then they walk through the house, after they had left the door open? Being the diligent hostess that you are, you are able to intercept them just before they take their muddy wet boots through your carpet. You turn them around and request they remove their wet things before doing any further destruction. They oblige, except they need you to do it for them. They have a wooonnderful time, they run and jump and play, then they eat, and spill, and as you are attending to them, the crunching under your feet and theirs reminds you what you were doing before the spill- getting the broom. Then they skip off happily and finally ask to be dressed so they can leave, which they do after they have discovered every new toy in your house, which is now out for everyone to enjoy...

Oh dear baby Jesus help me get through this snow! So, like millions of mothers in our area in the middle of a foreboding blizzard, my anxiety level begins to spike as I contemplate the 6 am mornings demanding to be "dwessed in snow cwothes", all the wet towels all over the floors, and the hot chocolate which they demand, receive and then never drink because "it's too hot." Do I sound bitter?

So I was sharing my sense of quiet fear with my boxing buddy, and she said to me "Oh well, you are so lucky." "Lucky!" I scoffed, as I donned my new pink gloves, "Oh yes. See my children are too old to play in the snow, they don't even sled. The snow is not fun anymore." She slipped into class.

And then I recalled the night before, the spoons under the pillows, their pajamas inside out and backwards, the bets on the number of inches and the pure unabated excitement that my children felt, and it all became clear: If only I could stop being an adult long enough to feel the joy of my children, I would have a wonderful weekend. (I also could mix that with adult fun, and have a blockbuster weekend.) And so, I stocked up on all the provisions of snacks, lots of hot cocoa, plenty of towels and plan to go sledding on the highest hill I can find. I hope all of you find your inner child this weekend and enjoy the snow even more than your children. It is my goal to stump them, get them to look at me sideways and think "who are you" As you see, normally mommy watches them sled, in part to avoid the snow in my jeans and in part to be ready at any moment to save one of them who may be sliding off a cliff. I will let you know how it goes, and encourage all of you to do the same...

A Cautionary Tale of Pride, Blood and Domesticity

To all my friends who I have successfully fooled that I have got my act together....Let me set the record straight. Today- I was very proud of myself for finally sewing the badge on my son's karate uniform. The first go around it was crooked. My mother suggested I pin it in place before trying again which I did. The second go around...I sewed the arm shut...yes shut, right through the other side. The good news is, I realized it before he tried to put it on. Even after my first two vaguely pathetic rounds at domesticity, I was finally proud of myself. Mission accomplished! I sent my little dragon off to karate and patted myself on the back. When he came home, I said "Don't you think you need to Thank Mommy for sewing your badge on (finally)," he said "Yeah, but mom you know you left the pin on the uniform." He spins around "The teacher was bleeding"...."Bleeding," I said, "Yeah," he said "There is this really important part, the most important part of the class, when she stops and she puts one hand one your wrist and one on your shoulder, " (Oh God Oh God!), "So she puts her hand on my shoulder, and its all quiet, and then you stuck her and she bleed all over the place." "Oh God!" I said, "Oh no." "But, thanks anyway Mom." So much for domesticity....Till tonight, when I burnt the chicken parmesan...


I

Show Tunes and Sex...The Connection.

Some of you know by now that I sing showtunes to my children, which elicits a calm silence and bewilderment at first, followed by demands to stop, and me singing louder. The inspiration for these days must be exactly right; I feel inspired, confident, with no cold, no headache, no sore throat, happy- with no distractions, little stress, and time available. Achieving such inspiring equilibrium to break out into song spontaneously, takes some serious stars aligning. With four children, a few businesses, a big house and bigger mortgage, stress is like my constant companion. So for me to be in the exact right mood to joyfully annoy my children, is rare. You see I love show tunes; I love the way they make you feel when you sing them. I love performing, and feel like I'm I am soooo fabulous at my rendition of "One", (which I first performed at 6, I remind my 5 year old), that I honestly have fleeting moments of going back on the New York audition circuit (I even renewed my subscription to BackStage Magazine, clearly this was a stellar week of rooouuunnndding applause from, um myself). Clearly this is some form of desperation, or reaching back into the nether regions of my brain. However I digress.

You see, the exact right mood which is necessary before I am even remotely interested in belting out "Hello Dolly", reminds me of the exact right mood women have to be in before they are well, in the mood. Add to the elusive feeling of balanced happiness to not feeling fat, and I can honestly see how couples go months, even years without having sex. Dr. Oz has declared it a "National Crisis". He believes Americans are "anorexic" in their sex lives. Which brings me back to show tunes. Sometimes you just have to sing, and you realize "Oh yeah, I might feel fat, but this is...gleeful." Men, I believe, are not wired in this specific way as women; they don't need to have the dishwasher started, the counters wiped down, the laundry started, the teeth brushed, face washed, various creams applied, in order to 'get ready' to get in the mood for anything. They are always ready, like a soldier at war, willing with their gun loaded.

So....now for the solution. How do wives get in the mood, and men get them in the mood to sing? I think in order to get your wife to realize the benefit of belting a high E...without the aforementioned To Do list complete, you have to create that moment, the one in the musical where she swoons. Okay here me out...I have had the great pleasure of working on a project with Dr. Marianne Brandon, certified therapist with a specialty in sex therapy. She contends, that men experience pleasure "through his woman". In other words, his ultimate sexual pleasure happens as he gets her to ecstasy. And she, ultimately wants to be "taken" by her man. "Taken" is like enraptured in strength, taken to another place emotionally, spiritually and physically, and hopefully, ultimately, to that place women want to go to....That place where yes, when she and Sasha Fierce have a special connection.

So, my personal moral to the story, to the women: if you break out in song without the laundry turned over, you will reap the benefits and hopefully feel like Penelope Cruz in "Nine" (which you should rent and watch at night...in bed...with wine); and to men: take your wife to a place other than the laundry room- this can be experienced by talking to her about her desires, her dreams, her greatest moments- and then take her to her great solo when she is the star of the show....

So good luck and I wish everyone lots of stellar moments of showtunes in the bedroom and beyond.

Public Nursing as "Public Masterbation"..

Yes, Jon Stewart, the "esteemed" host of The Daily Show, stated that he believes public nursing equates to public masterbation. Clearly he has never had to take care of a new born baby, the one screaming on the airplane because, oh she is hungry...I think Jon Stewart should be forced to A. miss a bunch of meals back to back. B. Be forced to be carried around like a napsack (I think the Governator could do this job) C. and be forced to eat liquids while sitting on top of a toilet seat in a restroom at Grand Central Station....after a concert in Madison Square Garden, and then, just to be extra fun, let's outfit him with a new born baby for 1 day (as I think more than 1 could be equated to child abuse), and see how he does. Let's see if, and when the baby starts to cry, scream if he takes the time to "find a public restroom" to feed the baby (as he suggests), gimme a freakin break. I encourage the biggest nurse-in Hollywood has ever seen at his studios. I also think someone should inform him that although he may be attracted to nipples, they are actually there for a baby to get food, not for his pleasure.

"Oh What a Night"

Amazing what one night can do for the spirit. I begrudgingly went out last night to a party of epic proportions, despite the fact that I was not convinced I could turn my attitude around. Parties are interesting, as many times, you may only know the host and the hostess. I love parties like this, because it presents a challenge for me, and an opportunity to meet as many new people as possible. Of course, like everyone else, the first look over a sea of strangers elicits pangs of fear. But once I consider the possibilities of all the interesting people I will meet, and all the fascinating things I will learn, the fear goes away. And this focus on everyone else, and my personal mission to find out as much as I can about each of them, quickly made me forget my problems of the day, and later into the night, even the most serious of problems did not seem to exist.

Dentists, surgeons, the professor robotics, the wealth management advisor, aerobics instructor, medical sales professional, the wives of the dentists, and husbands of the surgeons, and my dear dear friends, and very patient husband all brought me the joy that I thought would not return for days. If I hadn't made it my mission to meet, learn and connect with everyone there, then I likely would have left feeling like my house was oh so pathetically decorated, and possibly I had a hoarding problem due to the clutter I have in various spots in my house. You see, when you feel sorry for yourself, you start comparing things like your house to others, like my host and hostess....whose house is impossibly beautiful, and did not actually have a single piece of paper, anywhere, even in the office, much less toys, shoes, coats,kids art work, pictures, and the stuff of live. Not only were there no laundry baskets anywhere, but there laundry room had no laundry, even in the dryer! I can't actually think of a single time, ever that that has been the case in my own home...The view of the South River from atop a hill and 25 feet high of windows would have done it for me. That in and of itself is so spectacular I almost cried. But then there's the decorating...and the sleek hyper modern, impeccably organized, with supreme luxury that actually makes you...speechless. So the moral of my meandering story was found by my pure blissful enjoyment of such a beautiful space and even more in the beauty of the people who joined me. Cheers.

Low low low low

It's a low low low day, and I'm not talking about my Love jeans, which are also quite low, but not as low as I am today. I share this, against my usual own advice, as I abhore complainers, and people who cannot find the best in any given circumstance or situation. I share this only because, I want people to know that I have these low low low days, just like everyone else. My low came out of several different circumstances, including feeling unappreciated, unloved, hated by some, loathed by others, and generally uninspired. If I could have AT LEAST gotten some inspiration I would be FINE! But, the night is still young, so I am optimistic...

Today is the day, you do the thankless jobs of life, all the stuff that sometimes goes unnoticed, and sometimes people downright resent, but you do the right thing none-the-less. And isn't that the job of mothers, many times? Like when we tell our children "No, you cannot ride to your friends house two miles away at 6:00 at night," and you get "You are the most ridiculous mom of anyone I know," yeah like those times; you know you are doing the right thing even though you get flack and lots of it.

In times like these, when you feel like you are on stage being flogged, and you just want to crawl in to your bed and have yourself a good pity party, or a half gallon of chocolate chip, I do several things which can, (in theory), help. One is I take a shower. I use every available moisturizer bottled specifically for various body parts like the feet etc. I put on makeup. I dress in an outfit that I feel confidant in. I call my mom. I put on perfume. I light a candle. Then I go out. With husband of course, but I go out. Even though I don't want to, I don't intend to, and the world may very well suffer for it. I go and seek a new perspective, which I may, possibly glean. My problems are merely minutia and a very good glass of La Crema makes it melt away, a little bit. Some times you have to do as you would think....Even if you have to fake it. If you smile enough you feel happy. I am the queen of overanalyzing, however, sometimes just letting it go, not discussing it, and smiling your way through it is better than any Wellbutrin can ever give you. So salute. Have fun and smile.

"Hello God, It's Me, Mom"

As a mother of 4 children, with a crazy busy life, a large over achieving and opinionated family, several businesses, and two additional business ventures, I find myself wondering why in the world I would add this to my overflowing plate...Again. I have decided that the dialogue I mostly have alone, millions of women out there have also got to be having alone, while driving the children to and from school, while doing the laundry, the dishes, vacuuming the house, doing errands in the minivan, waiting in the car line etc. It's that dialogue, the subtext of our lives. "Where am I going with this life? What am I accomplishing? Why can't I go to Haiti tomorrow and help the nurses? Should I make chicken or turkey for dinner? Darn I forgot the dry cleaning...", this is, of course the beginning of the dialogue, "I remember when used to have to blow out my hair in the morning...and now, nobody cares. I was young, and now I'm old. My wants are secondary to my children. blah blah blah". So I was there, very there in that cold dark place. And I feel like I've come out of it. Not that I have all the answers, maybe just a few. Maybe enough that someone like me, some hardworking dedicated mother of many children who has sacrificed her career to tend to everyone sans herself, can relate to. Perhaps my experience will be like that hand reaching down into that dark place which pulls her out of it. Perhaps....And my journey is growing, expanding, learning, curving, meandering. But it's a wonderful, rich life I have, that I hope will inspire others like myself.